Utopia
by Nebula Rising
Summary: In which wounds are taken, patience is tried, feelings are changed, battles are fought and in the end of it all, both Draco and Hermione are left just a little bit different than they were going into this. How did things become so muddled? When did Draco begin to find Hermione so strong? When did Hermione realize that Draco really did have a heart?
1. Come morning light

**AN: **_Newest story. It's been a long time since I've written anything, and my writting style has changed much since my last published work here on the sight. I have my outline for this entire fic, but I still have much writing to do on it. Please comment to let me know if you like the way it's progressing. Your reviews do so inspire me to write quicker, and I generally take your ideas into consideration._

_Now onto the story. This chapter begins in the middle of something, which you may find odd, but don't fret, all of the situation will be explained in the next chapter. Such is the only problem with having to upload and then wait, you can't really read them all in one sitting. So be patient with me. I'll try to have the following chapter up within the next week._

_Pairing wise, it's a Dramione fic._

_Rating: M, for mature situations, language and possibly some sexual themes later in the fic. If you don't like, don't read please._

_This first chapter is in Draco's POV. _

_Disclaimer. I do not own the characters or the world, just the plot._

* * *

_Chapter 1_Come morning light_

_You've been walking,_  
_You've been hiding, _  
_And you look half dead half the time._  
_Monitoring you, like machines do,_  
_You've still got it I'm just keeping an eye. - (Imogen Heap [_Headlock_])_

* * *

She is winding down now; My unexpected and unwilling partner. Both physically and emotionally she is losing her edge. Rather quickly at that. It was something that I could never imagine. She had always seemed indestructible and her insatiable drive couldn't be stopped, but here and now, she was reaching an end.

If the sagging of her shoulders each time she took a breath isn't an indication, the pale green hue that her skin had taken surely was.

Her spirit must truly be in need of rest, because she's showing more weakness now that I can imagine she is normally capable of allowing to surface. Especially near yours truly.

She comes to a stop, and it doesn't even bother me that I naturally halt with her. I don't think even in a dream I would be able to imagine how easily my body reacts to her.

"Granger, we have to keep moving." I say, even though I remain motionless and by her side. I can't leave without her. She's my partner, even if neither of us chose this, we're stuck this way. I still feel rather odd at the thought that I was waiting for her. Waiting for my enemy.

Her knuckles are white around her wand, and her pupils are dilated as she turns them on me. Surprisingly, she has nothing to say. She simply pushes herself up away from the base of the tree trunk, and begins an irregular walking pace.

The coolness of the night wasn't surprising. The forbidden forest was always far too cold and damp to be comforting, but it was setting me on edge. Whoever it was that was following us would be on their way now, and the pace she was setting was disturbing.

"It won't be long now before they close in on us." I am aware that she knows this just as well as I do. I'm not sure why I say it. The words simply find their own way out of my lips. "Potter will be…"

I cannot finish my sentence, because she turns towards me, and her frustrated, weary expression drains the rest of whatever I had to say away from me. She is not speaking to me. She hasn't been since our first encounter on this night. This fact is mildly irritating. If I can find enough logic inside of me to suppress my hatred of her, then surely so can she.

It is humiliating that she finds the idea of speaking to me so repulsive. She can't even find the words to say to me at a time like this one.

We continue walking at a frustratingly slow pace. She's injured, and it's slowing us down greatly. She isn't bleeding anymore, but the effect of the wounds are taking their toll anyways. As we walk, her breathing is becoming ragged and there is no discernable pattern to her steps what-so-over. She's simply stumbling along.

All of these things noted, I still do not attempt to assist her in any way. She either couldn't bring herself to accept my help because of her pride, or her animosity of me just ran that deeply. The last time I tried to touch her, I thought she might have killed me if she hadn't been so disorientated. Not that I blame her really.

Granger and I have a very unsound relationship. It does not strike me as odd that she is resentful of me, but I am annoyed by her resistance considering the current situation all but made it mandatory.

We carry on in silence, and in pain, for an indeterminable amount of time, before she stops again. She slowly lowers herself onto the forest floor. The mist settled in around her, clinging to her warmth and she seemed to find it relaxing, because she let out a heavy, uneven breath. "Granger…" I begin, but she snaps at me before I can finish my sentence.

"I have to stop." She barks. Her voice is hoarse, and uncomfortably weak. I suspect it took a lot to admit something like this to me, but this wasn't the time for pride. "We have to get out of here, Granger." I look around, and the eeriness of the forbidden forest is as present as always. The looming shadows of the trees, and the wispy, dense fog gave the impression of it closing in on us. This feelings made me uneasy. I crouched down in front of her. "Potter will be waiting for us. If we're late, he might do something rash." I say this not because I am particularly familiar with Potters habits, but because I feel it might be the only way to keep her calm and alert. To have her thoughts on Potter could help her focus.

A strand of her hair falls into her eyes, but she makes no move to sweep it aside. She takes no notice of it as it brushes across her nose, and lips. She looks too tired to notice anything actually. The gash across her collarbone is finally scabbing over, which means that she is no longer at risk of losing too much blood, but she looks progressively weaker by the moment.

I sigh, and as the sound fans across her skin, it jars her from her oppression. She heaves herself up from the ground, and looks up at me seriously. The puffy, dark circles under her eyes, and the red tint her eyelids had taken made her look entirely unhealthy, and it was making me nervous.

Even so, it was the most impressive I've ever seen her. Unbreakable, even now, so wounded and ready to give in, she just wouldn't. She was such a strong girl. There was no one like her. Potter had truly found an amazing ally. No one really gave his followers the credit they deserved, myself included, but I realized just how unrelenting she really was.

"Not much longer now, Granger." I say, as if to comfort her, but it only results in a blistering glare from her. She must think I'm taunting her in some way, and it draws me back to present.

I'm in the forbidden forest with Hermione Granger, and for some reason I'm trying to be _nice_. We may both be unwilling in this, but I couldn't figure out why I was trying so hard to meet her half way. After all, she was hardly accommodating me in any way. There was no compromise in her eyes. She had been ignoring me for the large part of an hour now, yet I was trying to speak to her, worrying about her, encouraging her. Why?

With a few long strides I had caught up with her, and she looked over at me with another annoyingly intolerable expression. I found a very familiar sneer creeping it's way onto my lips, and the burn of my loathing was rekindling at alarming speed.

The girl could barely stand, yet she had the energy to waste giving me hateful glares. "Would you rather I just left you here to die?" I croaked, my throat dry with anger. Only an argument would quench my thirst. Only her mutual hatred, only her intensity matching mine would put my anger in reserve. When her eyes cut back to mine, and her shoulders stiffened I felt my heart beat rise with excitement.

"I'm fine." She managed to produce the words, but only a shade of her normal defiance was present therein. Though my purpose had been served in the long run. As we continued on, her back was straighter, and she was making a physical effort to appear less feeble.

As we walked on, she never relented her grip on her wand. The tight hold she had was almost unnerving, and in turn it caused me to be on guard. Both of us seemed to be against both the forest surrounding us, as well as each other.

We may have been temporary partners, but we certainly weren't friends, and we weren't going to help each other out any more than necessary.

As the weakness of my muscles began to take life, I realized that Granger must have been in a great deal of pain, and I couldn't help but take pity on her.

"I need a break," I groaned on a breath. While she turned towards me with a hateful glare and made a snide comment it appeared to be nothing more than hot air. She stopped immediately, her legs buckling as soon as I gave the word. She would never admit it, but she had been yearning for that break for possibly hours.

Sitting across down now, I watched Granger stand, and begin walking a circle around us, her wand drawn.

The clever witch was actually casting wards around us. Many of them, ones that I hadn't heard before.

I found this mildly impressive, and slightly annoying. "Now you're safe from all the scary monsters, Granger," I taunted out of habit, and she almost seemed to welcome it, "What spell do you have to protect you against me?"

Sitting across from me carefully she eased herself down slowly, as hiss escaped her lips, and a frown cut across her expression. "I don't need protecting from you." She said quietly right after, crossing her legs, and holding her wand in a way that it was almost directly pointed at me.

The thought made me nervous, but I was also amazed at her boldness. Even looking like death as she was, she still had the courage to be cheeky.

"You're not scared of me anymore?" I beg the question, plucking a piece of grass from the front of my robes. Granger expressed her disbelief at the action in the form of a very unlady like snort.

Looking at her, with her freckles almost hidden beneath a layer of grim and smudges of blood, she looked worse for wear. The half of her Hogwarts uniform that she was wearing was sullied and ripped, and she didn't seem to care.

Her face had taken on a default expression of completely revolted by my presence, where it stayed for the next hour. "I've never been scared of you, Malfoy." She slurred, her eyes far too droopy and disoriented to make her words threatening, "If you wanted to kill me, the opportunity has came up too many times now for you to have missed it. You may be an asshole, but you're not an immediate threat to my life." She says quietly, fighting with the urge to sleep.

She was so weary of me that it was almost insulting. With all the things going on, she still had so much doubt about me.

"Well, hopefully we'll be seeing Potter soon and we can get away from each other." I say the words, and she seemed to agree with only this one thing.

"Harry must be having such a hard time," She breaths the words like she was speaking to herself, but I snorted either way.

"I'm sure your perfect Potter is just fine."

She frowns at me, a displeased glow coloring her eyes, "He's fighting to save us all, the least you can do is cut him a break." She was chiding me like a child, and I didn't take the thought down easily. "If he doesn't win this, you and your mother will end up as servants of the dark lord. Is that what you want?" She growls, and I cut her short with a snarl of my own.

"Shut up!" I snap, my adrenaline pumping. "You don't know anything, you dumb little bitch," She seems mostly unaffected by my acidic words, her heavy lidded gaze cutting through me in an uncanny nature. Why did she always seem to know me so well?

To know when to make just the right expression to unnerve me. She let loose a yawn, and timing couldn't have been more perfect for making me angry. I felt cheeks color pink with rage. "You're a lunatic if you think I'll ever be thankful to him. If you really think I'm on your side, you're dumber than you look. Let's just get to fucking Potter so he can keep his end of the deal, and I can get away from you!" I sneer and she gave me a matching glare.

"Fine!" She shouts, her voice breaking in a way that sounded like it was painful.

Neither of us really could really sleep. I could hear her irregular breathing, and I'm sure she could hear mine. We simply closed our eyes and in unison, lulled ourselves with thoughts of being away from each other, and safe from this situation.


	2. It ain't so sweet

**A/N: **_Second chapter here. This is where the past begins, and it starts with Hermiones pov, switches to Draco's pov. Hopefully it will explain a bit more._

_Looking for a beta. _

_Also, dedicating this chapter to my lovely wife._

_Disclaimer._

* * *

_Chapter 2_It Ain't so sweet_

_You say my name but it's not the same_

_You look in my eyes_

_I'm stripped of my pride_

_And my soul surrenders_

_And you bring my heart to its knees- (Apocalyptica [_Not strong enough_])_

* * *

_[Several hours ago]_

Something has obviously gone very wrong here. I open my eyes again after some time, and it's like waking up to a nightmare. In the chaos around me, I am invisible. No one seems to notice me, and I use the opportunity to steady my frantic heart.

I press my palms against the broken up concrete, sharp and gritty as it cuts into my skin and stand up to wobbly knees, blurry vision, and a hammering deep inside of my skull. A wave of nausea settles over me, forcing bile to rise and a burning sensation to my chest. I am not sure how I manage, but I squelch the demand to vomit, and steel my shaking knees.

Ron is no where to be found, and it has never been more disturbing to me. Just before I blacked out, I remember Ron being there. Beside me like always, dueling off anyone who came near. Protecting me as best as he was capable of, even though I didn't really want, or need defending. It isn't a good feeling; him suddenly disappearing. I am so used to having him there, that I am lost without him near. Confused and unable to think strait, especially with the swimming of my thoughts, and uneasiness of my stomach.

I feel a very scary shiver run up my spine, and I scramble around to find my wand. Thankfully it was on the ground just where I fell, so whoever knocked me unconscious wasn't interested, or didn't know who I was. With the familiar weight back in my hands, I temporarily feel better.

The smell of smoke and the sound of screaming and crying invades my moment of weakness brings me back to the very real urgency of this situation. There was no turning back now.

This is it. This is the moment we were trying to reach, but we had failed. The war is about us, and now we have to stop it.

My friends are no where in sight, and it begins to submerge me in worry.

I know I have to find Harry, so my turn on my heels and make way for the least hostile direction.

_Think Hermione, think!_

I stretch my hand out in front of me as if I'm stumbling around in the dark as I carefully press forward. If anyone were to spot me, I would look like a sitting duck, reaching my hand out in front of me as if I'm blind, and my forehead creased in pain, but there is little I can do just yet. The fog that had settled over me was causing me great discomfort.

I inhale and ignore the jabbing pain assaulting my side as I exit the archway and head down the hill towards Hagrid's hut. I can't recall how I came to be on this half of the castle, but most of the fighting has diminished here. The few straggling students that remained on the grounds this far from the action, were terrified, but unharmed. No death eaters were in sight, thankfully, and it did much to steady my building anxiety.

Then, like a gift from above, I saw him. My heart swells, and the burst of adrenaline I receive from seeing him gives me temporary release from my ailments. I take off towards him as if I am being released from captivity by the sight of him; my savior.

"Harry!" I squeal, the sound was a high pitched grinding against the distant chaos of Hogwarts, and it immediately drew his attention.

When his eyes hit mine, rapture floods through me, and his relieved sigh makes me yell his name a second time. "Harry!"

He takes off into a run towards me, and we crash together in a tight embrace. It was both incredibly painful, and amazingly uplifting.

His right hand finds it's way into my hair, and his left is supporting my chin within the roughness of his fingers. Behind those familiar glasses, his eyes are scanning me for injuries, and his voice is deceptively calm. "Are you alright? Where have you been?" The questions ripple across my skin, but all I can think is how I short of breath I am.

Suddenly, I'm violently ripped from my happiness at seeing Harry again, when a squall of fire comes hurling at us. We notice it at the same time, and both dive aside. The landing jars me, and I lose my breath. For the next moment as I'm trying to gather my breath, Harry is casting spells against an evil that I can't see.

He's fighting twice as hard in protection of me. When I finally stand, I turn my wand to help Harry, only to see that he's dueling three death eaters, who are surprisingly, not dueling to kill.

They are casting body binds, disarming spells, and I narrowly dodged a stupefy, but they were not trying to kill us. My blood curdles with the thoughts of what they want with us.

I manage to stupefy the first of the three death eaters. It's surprising, because the pain of my stiff body was severely affecting my reflexes. I'm glad that I'm any help at all. With the way I was moving, the fact that I hit one at all meant that they must not have been very skilled at all.

I duck to avoid an expelliarmus, but my timing was terrible, and I scream as my shoulder is ripped open by a stray spell. Whatever spell it was had created several deep gashes out of my shoulder was fabricating a copious amount of blood, soaking my outside robes. I try to rebound from the wound as quickly as I can, but by this time the shock of my wounds are setting in, and I am rendered useless for at least the next few moments. I try to to let the panic get to me, but it's building quickly inside of me and I fear that I can't stop it.

During this time that I am busy trying to gain my wits, something outrageous happens.

Back up arrives, this much I know, but my hazy vision, and panic from the amount of blood I see keeps me from paying more attention than that.

Before I realize it, I am hyperventilating. His name slips from my mouth without my permission. "…Harry?" I believe it's the question in my voice that alerts him, and he comes running right away.

* * *

"Draco," Snape's voice is impersonal as he keeps a brisk walk through the castles halls, and towards the grounds of Hogwarts. "Hurry up, boy."

I am keeping close to his heels, but his tone is grinding against my nerves. I squeeze my wand, my knuckles crackling against it, and I grunt in response.

He is unaffected by my hostility, he merely walks at the same hurried pace, ignoring the straggling children, as well as any death eaters we pass. He's obviously leading me somewhere, but he gives me no clues. I'm not nervous, but there is a small flicker of anxiety coming to life within me. If he was taking me to the dark lord what could I do about it now? If I had to face that monster, and if I was told, yet again, that I had to kill. Or worse, if my mother were harmed because of his disappointment in me. I shiver at the thought and then push it far from my mind.

"Where are we going?" I ask, not for the first time, but he doesn't bless me with a response, yet again.

We make our way very quickly, despite my opposition I was stuck with him, by my mothers command, and his insistence.

The war is taking a toll on my morals. I have been second guessing myself all day. Did I do the right thing by following my fathers order? Should I have just gone against their wishes and denied the dark lord?

Before I have a chance to explore my thoughts and questions, Snape's drawl becomes alarmingly expressive. "Stay by my side. Follow my lead!"

I nod, and even though he doesn't see it, I know he understands me.

At this point, we take off into a run, and I drink in the sight of the one and only Potter, dueling several death eaters, his forehead creased with both worry and fright. To his side, curled into a ball on the ground, was my least favorite person in the world, and she was trembling. I could see the panic in her eyes even from the distance I was.

Without hesitation, Snape drew his wand and went to Potters aid. I followed suit.

"Harry?" It was a loud, panicked sound, with so much worry and wonder in it, that Potter immediately turned towards her with his jaw clenched.

When we arrive, Potter runs to Hermione, ready to give her his full attention. Had we not arrived sooner, he would have probably made a mistake, which could have been critical.

The sound of her voice was distressing, even to me, and I was almost hit with the killing curse in my distraction. As tempered as they were being with Potter, they were aiming to kill us. Trying to get us out of the way.

I am annoyed by the fact that I'm disposable and Snape and I quickly disperse of the two remaining death eaters.

Potter is leaning over Granger, his forehead creased in a frown when he turns to Snape.

"Help me!" There is an unexplainable look in his eyes that I struggle to understand, and the pain in his voice is unsettling. Granger was his precious person, and the fear of losing that person was obvious on his face.

I cast a look towards Granger, and the state she was in caused an uncomfortable pain in my chest. A tingling sensation, and queasiness took over me, and I had to look away.

Red eyes, tear streaked cheeks, her heaving chest covered in blood. Her wild hair was more untamed than usual. Her breathing was labored, and she was clutching Potter's arm like it was the only thing keeping her sane.

I watch in a detached way as Snape helped Potter peel off Granger's outer robes, and she groaned in pain as it drug over her shoulder. With her outer robe off, she was left in her regular uniform. They didn't attempt to remove the vest she wore over her once crisp white shirt, most likely in fear that it would be too painful. The white shirt beneath was now soaked red down the left side of her body, and it was such a sad sight that I didn't know how to tolerate gazing at it any longer. Once again I avert my eyes and try not to think of how much pain she must have been in.

The sound of her pain makes me feel oddly unpleasant. Normally I would have liked to hear the sound, but today, at this moment, it made me feel terrible. It scrapped across my skin in painful way, and made my stomach bubble uncomfortably.

Snape cast a spell that seemed to do a minor amount of help, but he wasn't a healer. He gave Potter a grave look, "It's the best I can do. We have to get her out of her, Potter. " Together they stood her up, and she yelped. She seemed to be less panicked after the spell mended a bit of the largest gash.

For the first time, her eyes landed on me and she looked entirely too hostile for someone so upset. How she managed to be so delusional and yet to look at me and immediately become so aggressive, it was amazing to me.

Snape, who always had the answers to everything, did not disappoint, as Potter looked up at him pleadingly.

"Draco," He barks, his dull voice and black eyes pointed at me, drawing my attention from Granger. "Take her."

As he said the words, I felt an intrusion in my chest. "What?" Both Potter and I cry in unison, neither pleased with this thought.

Snape nods, assuring us that it's the right thing to do with his most deadpanned expression. "Don't worry, she's harmless right now." If I didn't know the man better, I would say that might have been an attempt at a joke. "Take her to the forest for now. Make your way around, to the black lake. Potter and I can meet you there later." He says these things in a surgical manner, but with each word, I was more and more certain that he was barking mad.

"I'm not going anywhere with her." I say, and regardless of her terrible state, she agrees with me with a resounding, "If you think…"

She didn't finish her sentence before Potter silenced her with a, "Come on Mione, you need to go somewhere safe." He obviously cares about her so much more than I understood previously.

I produce a sneer, "Right Potter, safe. With me, in the forbidden forest."

Granger's cheeks were painted pink, and she rolls her eyes. "Please Harry."

Neither Snape or Potter would have anymore of our demands and pleads. They attempted to hand her over to me, but she decided that she would rather try to stand than use me to support her weight. Though she looked worse for wear, she managed somehow to gather her strength about her.

I try not to look at her, and especially not to be impressed with her determination, as Potter came towards me, "I'm only allowing this to happen because of Snape's suggestion," His green eyes reflected a very real danger, "but if anything happens to her, I'll make sure you pay for it, Malfoy." He did not voice that he would take my life, but he didn't need to. I understood extremely well the threat that lay in his words.

I suddenly felt like I was being sent on a petty mission, while they were doing all of the important duties.

Here I was babysitting Granger.

I snort, and reach my hand out to grab her wrist, but she snarled at me like a cornered dog. "Don't!" She hides her hand away behind her back, "I'll manage." She says with a bit less passion.

I sneer at her, "Like I care anyways," I grind out the words as I stomp past her and towards the forbidden forest. We've always hated each other, but I was surprised that she was so suspicious of me, even though I was just fighting with Snape on Potters behalf.

She would probably never trust me if that wasn't enough proof for her. Or maybe I had just done too much damage in the past for her to ever forgive me.

She follows me, slowly, but surely, and as we breach those dark and misty woods, I feel extremely annoyed at the circumstances that we were under.

If we could manage this without killing each other, it would be a miracle.


End file.
